Another Openin', Another Show

I can't decide if I'm nervous or not. I think not. But I'm not sure.

My show opens tonight . . . well, not OPENS . . . my cast for the show "Suds" has it's first performance tonight. We've been rehearsing like crazy this week. I'm exhausted, my eyes have that constant burning feel . . . I've been eating like crap and I haven't exercised since BEFORE Mexico.

I forgot what this was like. The non-stop rehearsing, dreaming in song (usually the song you hate most in the show), trying to get that &*$# wig to stay on, random bloopers that could happen going through your head . . . the possibility that if you skip something, you might miss a whole musical number . . . it goes on and on. I haven't actually been in a real play since high school . . . in college I did lots of little things and probably worked on the equivalent of four or five giant musical productions, but I haven't actually been in a REAL SHOW for a very, very long time. I have a degree in this, I should be the consummate professional, yet I feel like the intern going to the big scary law firm for the first time.

My friends and family have been SO supportive. I got the sweetest note from Jewels this morning about how great I would do and how, even though she couldn't be here for the opening night, she'd be in the background cheering me on. She's so great. My mom called and I got an email from my in laws. Rhonda, her roommate Marcy and of course my husband will all be there.

The show is funny, really funny. It's cheesy, but it's funny. I can't wait to perform for a real audience FINALLY. It won't just be Roger, the director who I think doesn't like me much . . . but that's OK I don't really like him either SO. THERE.

So anyway, there really isn't a point to this. I'm just saying I'm somewhere between nervous and excited. Nerxited? Exvous? Hmm, I'll have to think about that one some more. Maybe I'll come up with something while I'm driving around aimlessly trying to find a place to take a quick nap. Sadly, I've also thought about doing some yoga to stretch out my stressed, knotted back. Maybe the chiropractor? Who knows. I am obviously uptight and stupid. What more could I ask for?

Well, off I go to break a leg. Wait . . . I don't think I wish MYSELF luck by telling myself to break a leg . . . is that going to reverse the superstitious effect and actually cause a broken limb??? Thinking too hard. Must. Stop. Now.