Boot YOU Boot Camp

Ow 'scuse me, Ow

My legs hurt. And so does my pride.

This boot camp thing is kicking my butt. It's GOOD and I know that but wowsas!

I have always felt like I was in pretty good shape and I could keep up with the "fit chicks." NO SIREE. I have boot camp with some women who are stay at home mom's who's kids are all in school and I think ALL THEY DO during the day is work out. They were like, two laps ahead of me at all times.

I felt like Jamaica in the bobsled race. "Gee Kate, thanks for the effort and you're a winner just by being here."

Here's me: You SHUT UP SWEDEN. You and all your snow. I like my ocean and my beach and my palm trees and my hang loose attitude.

Except in our case it's stamina and muscle vs. my soggy bottom.

Well Boot Camp, I'll be seeing you tomorrow, struggling to keep up and cursing you under my breath. Or out loud . . . because the instructor and the fit chicks will be so far ahead of me they won't be able to hear me anyway.

Does this post make me look fat?

Because let me tell you, by body does. So I'm finally doing something about it. And not my usual "pretending to be on a diet" doing something about it. I mean DOING something.

I feel like a freshman college football player, going to training camp for the first time . . . tomorrow morning begins my crazy workout schedule. I AM GOING TO GET IN SHAPE DAMMIT.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday I will be at a workout "Boot Camp" from 6-7 AM.

Tuesday and Thursday my new ward friend (who is also attending Boot Camp) Karajean and I go to the gym at 5:15. A.M.

Oh and have I mentioned I've been sick? I caught this AWFUL cold from one of my primary kids. I think it's spreading to my chest, but OH WELL! Boot Camp here I come! Body, we are getting up EVERY DAY and going to the gym or to boot camp, WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE IT.

See, my goals are threefold . . .
1) Lose 20 pounds ( a number of pounds I NEVER thought I'd gain -- stupid happy marriage happy fat. I didn't sign up for THAT!)
2) Fit back into my "cute" clothes . . . since I currently have three outfits I allowed my fat self to buy.
3) Be in hot bathing suit shape by the time my family goes to visit this magical paradise http://www.fantasticvillas.com/CasaSalinasII.htm in January.

So kicking and screaming, my Devil half is going to drag my sleepy Angel side to work out every freaking morning. And trust me, that sleepy angel will be screaming her little head off.

See you all on the skinny side!

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!

OH MY GOSH IT'S FINALLY THURSDAY! GREY'S ANATOMY IS BACK ON TONIGHT. Did everyone hear me? TO-freaking-NIGHT.

I have been waiting all summer with baited breath, viewing every music video and every writers blog and comment I can find about Season 3. And now, I no longer have to wait. Tonight, I get to plop my fat arse down on the couch and watch the drama unfold . . . WHAT is going to happen with Derek and Meredith? Did Izzy really quit the program after Denny died? And FINN! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO FINN NOW THAT MEREDITH AND DEREK HOOKED UP AGAIN?!?!?

Seriously people, this is serious stuff. Life altering serious stuff.

I have never been this addicted to a TV show. Ever. I seriously love everything about this show and I wish I was in it. Or on it . . or writing it . . . or something. I am going to get mad and start hating Friday mornings the way I hated Monday mornings last season . . . because that means I have to wait SEVEN WHOLE DAYS to find out what's going to happen next.

Remember how I said the blog I discovered was my new drug? Well Grey's Anatomy is my MAIN drug. The one that fuels my life.

OK maybe I'm being a weeeee bit overdramatic but OH MY GOSH IT'S FINALLY THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 21ST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My New Drug

I have found a new obsession . . . it's a blog by a really funny lady here in Arizona that i've never met. But I either laugh or cry at every post I've read of hers. Particularly this one:

http://butitsmymadworld.blogspot.com/2006/02/wow-who-taught-these-kids.html

This lady Linsey is funny. And her kids sound hilarious. I can only hope that the kids I will someday have will provide as much entertainment as it sounds like her kids provide.

She has a better looking blog site AND she can also do things on her blog I need to learn how to do. Damn. I knew I should have learned more about HTML and all that "internet" crap that supplies half of the money in this house. Let me specify . . . MY half of the money. I suck. You'd think in two years I would have learned SOMETHING useful working for an INTERNET COMPANY.

Oh wait . . . I learned how to ship a Ferrari . . . I also learned how to supervise the removal of mold from behind a 12 foot marble fireplace . . . and how to convince the manager of Roberto Cavalli to give me the display from their store window. . . Oh and don't forget I also learned how to put a keg-erater together. These are all things that are going to come in handy for a married, middle-class Mormon girl.

I take it back. I totally learned stuff.

Peanut Butter Heart Attack Bars

I have found my new guilty pleasure. I don't know their name so I made one up. I advise making these on rare rare occaisons . . . they are SO good but SO not good for you.

Here is the recipe: (try not to cringe while reading it.)

1 small bottle light Karo Syrup (about 16 oz)
2 cups of Sugar
3 cups of creamy peanut butter (Skippy is recommended)
8-10 cups Special K cereal
2 bags Nestle semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 bags Nestle butterscotch chips

In a large pot (I used my big soup pot) mix together karo syrup, sugar and peanut butter. Heat over medium, stirring frequently until the mixture is bubbly (be careful not to burn the bottom. I did that, of course). Once the mixture is bubbly, take the pot off the heat and add the Special K one or two cups at a time until it's thick enough (About the consistency of rice crispy treats. Add as much as you think you need but, 9 cups works about right for me.)

Spread the mixture onto a large cookie pan.

In a seperate sauce pan, add all four bags of chips. Heat over low, stirring constantly until it's just barely looking like a sauce. (again, it burns easily. Yep, did that too) Pour the chocolate mixture over the mixture in the cookie pan.

Let cool overnight or in the fridge. Watch your butt grow before your eyes as you eat the whole pan!!

Kateastrophes

Last night we were watching Just Friends (hilarious, by the way, if you've never seen it.) I am comparing myself to the dumb blonde pop star character for the moment. Not because I'm a hot blonde pop star. Because she lights tin foil on fire in the microwave and causes an emergency landing in her private jet. I've DONE that -- several times (though sadly, not in my private jet. I seem to have . . . permanantly misplaced that particular item). The most recent fire adventure was with a City Hall box of lobster mashed potatoes. I didn't really notice the foil sticker holding the box closed . . . the top of our fairly new microwave is now scorched because I walked outside to talk to Matt while my mashed potatoes were heating up. THAT was dumb. I came back in to a foil wrapper and a huge fire in the microwave. Oops.

I think most of my Kateastrophes occur around food, quite honestly. There was the original one . . . shooting ice cream out of the Pizookie pan at Oreganos . . . it FLEW out of that pan and spatered all over me. Then the more recent egg yolk episode . . . somehow I managed to spill an egg yolk BETWEEN the stove and the cupboards while making breakfast. Not any of the white mind you, just the yolk. If you think about that, it meant that I had to remove the stove from it's place against the wall. That lead to realizing how disgusting it was under there (my advice is to never move that gosh darn stove) and then thinking "gee, I wonder what's under the fridge!" and proceeding to move THAT too . . . basically resorting myself to spending the entire day scrubbing the kitchen with a toothbrush. (piece of advice: the shopvac works MUCH better than any stupid vacuum. I need to make a pink, slightly lighter "housevac" or something out of that and market the crap out of it. That thing RULES).

Shortly after the egg yolk episode there was the baked beans episode. My container of take-out baked beans somehow managed to find itself not only open but at the perfect angle to dump cleanly underneath the passenger seat of my car. HAD TO SCOOP IT OUT WITH A SPOON. It didn't get on the seat OR the side of the door. CLEANLY UNDER THE SEAT. What is it about me?

Then on Thursday night i burned FOUR BAGS of chocolate and butterscotch chips I was trying to melt. Not one bag . . . FOUR BAGS. What a disaster. (Don't even ask what heart attack I was cooking up that required four bags of chocolate and butterscotch chips. That was just the topping!)

So, in case you didn't know, there are just a few reasons why my husband has dubbed these adventures Kateastrophes. And I take a bow. Always glad to entertain!

On Being Creative -- or Random. You Can Decide For Yourselves. I Vote Random.

I decided to attempt creativity . . . I am hosting a birthday party for my entire primary class next weekend *mental note: never offer to have seven kids over to my house again* and I wanted to send "cute" invitations. I am also babysitting tonight for my friend Stacey (who also happens to be my boss Dan's girlfriend -- I sort of rule at setting people up!). Her daughter Alexis is sleeping over (this becomes relevant in a few sentences by the way) and going to church with us tomorrow.

Now Alexis is DARLING and one of the most polite, well behaved, mature four year olds I have ever personally encountered. And, she's HAPPY ALL THE TIME. However, (and I've always known this it's not new information or anything) being a "mom" is not easy. And (again something I've aknowledged) I am sort of selfish. Take this moment for example. I want to watch re-runs of Nip/Tuck on TV. Alexis wants to watch Lion King. I am not happy to report that I am currently watching Lion King. (I still love Disney movies, FYI. Just not at this exact moment. Especially because we just watched Sleeping Beauty.)

Nevermind the naked Barbie, this is Alexis settling down to watch Lion King

So anyway, creativity and Alexis. . . I had to take Alexis with me to Michaels to buy the stuff to make my "cute" cards. I have a new respect for you moms who take your kids to the store. And I only had one!!! She wanted to look at every sticker, every piece of paper, every marker. Then she wanted up. Then she wanted down. Then she wanted to stamp her hand. But there was no stamp ink . . . then she decided to start running up and down the aisle. Then she hid from me . . . need I say more. It took me twice as long to pick up the stuff I needed, of course. I called Julia in the middle of it all to ask for creative inspiration, but of course had to cut it short because Alexis ran into someone at the end of the aisle. It was actually entertaining, just time consuming.

Then we went to Wendy's to get dinner. This kid has sophisticated taste! She didn't want a kids meal . . . no no no, she wanted a frescata sandwich. And no fries. She doesn't like fries! I was not prepared for the drive through experience to take as long as it did!

Anyway, we came back to the house and ate dinner and then I got to work on the invitations and Alexis got to work on watching Sleeping Beauty on our "oh my gosh that is so huge" TV (direct quote). I am actually quite proud of how my little project turned out, though I got better with each card, so the first ones aren't as cute as the final ones. Here is a picture of the final cards, and then a picture of my favorite two. I feel so . . . half-way creative?

On a random, unrelated side note, I think the dining room is almost as finished as it's going to get. I just need window treatments of some kind (probably a window scarf or something simple) and then Voila! It's the only complete room in the house! Here are two pictures for my bragging and your viewing pleasure. Hahahah.

What on EARTH do I do with that stupid hole/cubby in the wall?? Any ideas???

Mountain West Conference SUCKS

Who on earth, asks anyone, pays $21.95 to watch a BYU game on TV? Answer: We do. Stupid Mountain West Stupid Conference and their stupid TV station . . . there were TWO BYU games that were scheduled to broadcast here in Phoenix. So we turned on ESPN 2 today . . . make that one game. They were showing the Michigan State vs Pitt game instead! So what did we do? We called Cox Cable and found out the only way to get the game was pay $21.95 to get the College Package for one day. So here we sit, suckered into it, trying to get our BYU Football fix. Now we're pretty much stuck watching college football all day because we PAID for the package, right?

Oh, and by the way, BYU is currently losing. Totally worth it! Or something . . . it's only the 3rd Quarter so I'm sure things could turn around for the good old Cougars. Meooowww.

Labor Day Sand Dwellers

Well, after knowing Matt for almost three years, we finally were able to go to the sand dunes and go ATVing (or out on the quads . . . or four-wheeling . . . it all just depends on which part of the country you are from!) We met Matt's parents at the Coral Pink Sand Dunes just outside of Kanab, Utah and my widdle sister Meagan and her new husband, Luke, met us there. We had such a blast!!

We went out for about four hours every day (total) and I think we are all so sandy we have sand in places we don't want to talk about . . . and my apologies to Meagan and Luke, who were right behind me when I got stuck and the tires of the quad I was on spewed sand ALL over them . . . But I did learn how to drive the FAST quad and I LOVED it (however, I am still a proud pansie . . . I don't really go that fast on the fast one. Oh well what do you do?)

Now we're all home and saddle sore and our wrists hurt and we're going to be finding pink sand everywhere, but it was well worth it. Many thanks to Janna and Steve (aka Matt's parents) for working out all the logistics and providing us a warm camper/toy hauler to sleep in and for feeding us.

Aren't my pants cute?!?!

See that person catching air?? THAT is my baby sister!! She is so much braver than me!