Size Matters Not

OK, HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THIS???

This is Isaac, my best friend Anne's youngest son. I just had to post about how cute he is in his Yoda costume!

You'll all be pleased to know that I won a cube decorating contest at work today. I just put up spiderwebs and lights and played spooky Halloween sounds, but hey, $25 on an American Express card is totally worth it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!! Hope you have a spooky night!

Mission: Only For the Severely Stupid

We played construction this weekend . . . it was . . . um. . . er . . . fun???

I'm not posting any pictures yet because I want to be completely done with the projects so I can give you a complete beginning to ending idea of the torture I put myself through for the past month or so, but I promise that I will!

The one interesting/stupid thing I did is worth posting about though. A true Kateastrophe . . .

I got a screw stuck in the garbage disposal.

Not rolling around in there.

Completely. Stuck. Wedged. Not. Coming. Out. EVER.

As if we didn't have enough broken crap in this house. Now we'll probably need a completely new garbage disposal. Cross your fingers and say a little prayer that the home warranty we bought covers . . . well, Kateastrophes.

How, Kate, did you get a screw STUCK in said garbage disposal?

WELL, I'll tell you.

I took the final five cabinets off of their hinges today. These were the cabinets I was saving for last because they are the NASTIEST. The hinges are covered in twenty years worth of dropped food and whatever the hell else might have snuck it's way in there. I haven't cleaned them yet because every time I thought about it I almost threw up. But, in order to finish the cabinets I obviously had to remove the hinges. So the were all immediately dunked into a concoction of vinegar and water (don't ask my why those two ingredients . . . I just thought it might clean the sludge off.) and set aside to soak for . . . well, until I thought they were good and ready.

Five hours later I'm pouring out the vinegar mixture to get at the hinges with a toothbrush. Cut to stupid Kate forgetting she was also soaking the SCREWS. Slow motion, cut to THREE screws falling into the disposal. Cut to Kate's braing counting the clinks as the screws hit the bottom. One clink . . . two clink. "Well (insert vulgar, naughty word here)" says I and then immediately cut to Kate sticking her hand in the disposal to fish out the two screws she heard drop. (NO it was not RUNNING. Give me at least a little credit.)

So anyway, enough with this third/first person mess I created in that paragraph up there. On with the story . . .

Needless to say I got two screws out. I did feel around to see if by any chance there was a third one. (picture me sticking my hand into the very old, probably very nasty (but I don't want to think of the nastiness at that particular moment) garbage disposal to see if there's one more screw. Nope don't feel anything.) So what do I do next? Oh don't you worry. I TURN THE DAMN THING ON TO MAKE SURE. Do I find a flashlight to check and see? Nope. Do I ask Matt to help me and check it out and give me a second opinion? Nope. I TURN IT ON.

Imagine the sound of crushing metal.

And. Then. The. Screw. Was. Completely. Jammed.

Matt got a flashlight and explained it to me like this: "Well, you somehow managed to get the teeth that go around in there to get stuck on the long thin screw part and the head is visible. I've used pliers, a screw driver and a hammer, tried to move the teeth manually . . . it's not going anywhere. We need to call a plumber."

Well at least we needed to call one anyway to get our master bathroom shower refitted for the new faucet we bought this weekend.

Before I screw up again, can I ask for volunteers to help me with the following tasks?

Put up new ceiling fan in family room

Put up new ceiling fan in kitchen

Put up new ceiling fan in master bedroom.

Install new kitchen faucet (and just throw in a garbage disposal while you're at it, k?)

Install new shower pan and walls, along with new drain, faucet . . . ah hell, any volunteers to remodel our entire master bathroom from floor to ceiling?

Oh new houuuuseee! Are you done yet? Your new owners are badly in need of you!

Oh wait. I remember now. You're at least a month behind and the utilities aren't even in.

How long do you think I can go without accidentally turning on the jammed garbage disposal?

I'm taking bets. All proceeds go to our remodeling fund. I'm also taking donations.

Thank you for your consideration.

What's Your Name?

Another fun game!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Christian Electra (OH MY GOSH HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)
Ok normally it would be Shirley Musketeer, but let’s be creative and use my Grandpa’s name . . . and my second favorite candy . . .
James Godiva . . . ooh that’s fun! Even for a girl.

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
K-Ann . . .eh, not so great. Now if we used my maiden name I’m K-Cot HEHEHE, or I could even be K-Murph if I really wanted . . . Ok in reality it all sounds WAY to much like K-Fed so I’m going to pretend I don’t HAVE a Fly Girl name.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Conure (that’s pretty lame)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Anne Golden . . .yaaaawwwnnn

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.)

MurKaLyPro (AHAHAHAHAHAH)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (your favorite color, favorite drink)
Green Coke? Maybe I should go for Purple, my second favorite color and my favorite non-alcoholic beverage that COULD have alcohol? So . . .
Purple Daiquiri .. . little better, but it doesn’t sound very bad-a does it?
I could stretch a little further and go for the drink Dan Clarke always orders me whenever we’re at dinner together .. . a shirley temple
Green Temple . . . Green Shirley? No none of this is working.

Kate Needs

I found this fun game when I was bored today. I'm sitting here cracking up at how hilarious it is.

What you do is go to Google and type in "(your name) needs" and see what comes up in the headings. It's HILARIOUS.

Here is, according to the almighty Google, what Kate needs.

1. Kate needs a shave
HOW DID THEY KNOW? Google must really be all knowing if they know I haven't shaved my legs in four days.

2. Kate needs the Dramaturge at Home.
uhhhh, no idea what that means. But apparently I need it . . . so dramaturging at home I go.

3. Kate needs your help
Oh how true. All of you, I solicit your help. We all know I need it and I can't live without it. You can decide what I need your help WITH. All I know is that I need it.

4. Kate needs a hand
well, I'm sure I do. I've been trying to finish my cabinets, and if any of you want to lend me a hand with that I will not protest one bit. I have a list of things I need a hand with. First one to my house gets delicious homemade macaroni and cheese! It's totally worth it I swear! Just ask Rhonda!

5. Kate needs a twinkie
YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Althought I don't really NEED a twinkie . . . but I WANT a twinkie. Maybe since Google told me I need a twinkie that will justify to my trainer tonight that I had to have one?

6. Kate needs a trust angel
uhhhhhh, sure!? Can Google tell me what a trust angel is, exactly? I'll ask Google and get back to you.

7. Kate needs to ride
I could go in several directions with this one . . . I'll just stop right now.

8. Kate needs editor emulation for Emacs and/or vi
I don't even know what to say. I probably do need . . . whatever it is.

9. Kate needs to go away!
RUDE. I think Google just lost my business. Bastards.

10. Kate needs standard right click menus
Don't we all need standard right click menus? Unless you use a mac. Then you're screwed when it comes to right clicking!

11. Kate needs special indentors for php & perl
I THINK I have an idea of what php & perl are . . . i guess when I double check that I'll determine whether or not I really need special indentors . . . whatever those are.

12. Kate needs a cat and twenty mindless Monday games
Um, no I don't actually need a cat .. . but I would love twenty mindless Monday games since I don't so much like Mondays!

13. Kate needs a date
Google is so fired. Unless they mean a date with my husband . . . which I do need.

14. Kate needs a priest
According to my father and his catholic family, this might be true. They're probably searching for me so I can do my first communion finally.

15. Kate needs doggy day care
Well that's just rude!

16. Kate needs to focus on work and not the internet tomorrow and actually get some work done so she still has a job and won't need #17- a new job.

Update

You'll all be disappointed to know that Matt Leinart didn't show his face at Sapporo last night.

Oh well, maybe next time, right?!?

Agata, Suzanne (my executive admin replacement) and I did, however, have a blast, just chatting and gossiping and laughing.

If there's a Leinart sighting, I'll be sure to let you all know.

I'm a rotten wife . . .

Ok, I realize I've posted like FIFTY times in the past two days . . . but I had to do something really quickly.

I've posted about my love for the following men:

Matt Leinart, Christian Bale and Brandon Routh.

I have neglected to post about my love for the best guy of all.

My husband. I'm not going to go all mushy yucky on you, oh no, not the sarcastic B that I am.

I'm just going to say that I got really lucky when I met this man and even more lucky when he loved me back.

Meeeeoow!

I mean I got REALLY lucky. I can't think of any other guy who would put up with me making him dress like THIS for Halloween

Plus, can you imagine what I've been like at home for the past week or so with all my self-pitying trauma? It's been like the "kick the dog" syndrome at our house, but I'd like to point out that we don't HAVE a dog. I have a Matt. And he is pretty darn sweet when I'm being rotten.

SO despite my love for Superman, Batman and that hot quarterback, I love Matt more.

Digging myself out of the self pity pit

My posts over the past few days have had an aura of doom about them, and for that I apologize. I have never really been a negative, depressing type of person and somehow I allowed myself to wallow for the past for days and it's time to get up and see the light, people!

Have I mentioned that Wednesday Boot Camp makes me hyper? On Wednesday's we do calisthenics and for some reason I am like a freak for the rest of the day, bouncing around, spazzing out. I mean, this stuff kicks my butt. They're some of the hardest exercises I've ever done, but somehow, as soon as I get out of the shower after a Wednesday workout, I turn into the poster child for ADHD.

This gets interesting as I try to work. My boss comes to say hi and I just start running my mouth and laughing at myself. And I read a sentence like "pick your horse and experiment" as "pick your nose and experiment" and I read it again and again trying to make sense of why my boss would tell me to pick my nose and work, all the while snorting and spewing Diet Coke all over my keyboard. (**Just a funny side note, my boss DID in fact write me an email that had the sentence "pick your horse and experiment." That alone would have caused the snorting and Coke spewing but add insult to injury and misread it as "pick your nose" and it just gets funnier and funnier. Especially when you're stuck in SPAZ MODE.)

My other random story for the day involves McDonald's. The place I swore I'd never eat at again after seeing "Super Size Me." But one day a few months ago I was STARVING for breakfast and I was at Dan and Agata's house and the only fast, easy food near them is McDonald's, so I tried a McGriddle sandwich. Small bit of advice. Don't try it. It's the best little breakfast sandwich in the whole world, and once you eat it, you'll NEVER go back. This morning, I was fifteen minutes late to work (not like I can ever really be late, but I try really really hard to get here by 8:30 and I get mad at myself if it's any later than 8:40 and this morning it was 8:45 when I was getting off the freeway - stupid traffic.) and I was STARVING so I decided I'd better go get a McGriddle. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER I am still sitting in the stupid drive-through line, stuck between the window where you pay and the window where you actually get your food. Just sitting there. I'm not sure WHAT was going on inside. The girl taking the money kept sticking her head out the window to look and see if the car at the pick-up had moved . . . like she couldn't ASK the people inside what was going on?!?!? It was a debacle for sure. So I rolled into work at about 9:05, thanks to my stupid McGriddle fascination. The Work-out Gods were mad at me . . . and I probably deserve their wrath.

In other fun news, I am going out to dinner with Agata tonight. We're going to Sapporo, the "hip and happening" Japanese restaurant in Scottsdale. It's the only place we've ever gone together. I'm not sure if it's because she loves it that much or because it's "the place to see and be seen" according to high Scottsdale society. Needless to say I put on my sassiest fat clothes and will try hard to fit in with the barbie doll that is Agata and the rest of the Scottsdale princesses. It's not going to be easy! Then I'll really give myself away when I don't order a cosmopolitan or Appletini! I'm so "out" aren't I? Last time we were there I saw Danika Patrick. Today I'm crossing my fingers and PRAYING that Matt Leinart is there, and that he thinks girls with big butts are hot. HAHAHAHAHA. *Disclaimer: My husband is aware of my Matt Leinart obsession, and he knows that if in fact, a miracle ever occurs and Matt Leinart wants me, I'm probably not going to be able to resist his lusciousness. I mean I fit the profile right? His last girlfriend was Paris Hilton . . . and the girl before that WAS in fact LDS and a volleyball player. I'm totally his type -- I'm LDS and Paris Hilton and I have the same yacht sized feet. When we meet, he will immediately fall for me. That's what I tell myself every time I see his beautiful face on TV.

Petey's Party

er . . . wedding.

Yeah, Pete is my favorite co-worker and he recently got married at the swanky Phoenecian. The ceremony was awesome, the food was delicious and the party was AWESOME. Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure:
**these were taken by Agata . . . and Matt was there, he just wasn't in any pictures!

Agata and I dancing

Agata and Carrie, obviously the bride

The proud Groom (apologies to any virgin eyes)

My friend Stacey, co-worker Chris (liiiiitle punch drunk) and Agata

Fun had by all!

I took home one of the floral centerpieces and it pretty much took over my kitchen counter!

The dilemma of the day

So I mentioned my stomach ailment.

What I didn't mention was the stress headaches and cramps.

So here's the dilemma:

Do I take a painkiller to ease the cramps and headache, thus causing the stomach ailment to rear it's ugly head?


OR

Do I not take any painkillers and just sit here numbly staring into the blackness rubbing my neck hoping for some relief?



OR




I honestly can't decide which is worse. So I sit here staring at the five advil I grabbed out of the first aid kit. And that's all I'm doing with it. Staring. Wishing.

And here's what's totally sad . . . I'm blogging about this! I guess it's sort of like virtually reaching out to all my friends and whining! And that makes me sound really mature!

On to other matters - I went shopping today at lunch because I figured I needed shoe therapy or SOMETHING right? Apparently not. I just wandered through the store, looking at Christmas Decorations but unwilling to commit, trying on shoes but unwilling to commit. This is so not like me. I passed on shoes AND Christmas decorations? Shirley would be disappointed (ps- Shirley is my most awesome stylin' Grandma who gave me my love of shoes and all things Christmas)

This week is turning me into a Grinch!! A Grinch who can't find SHOES!

And then the heavens opened up and shouted "Kate we hate you!"

My brother Sean used to say that all the time and we'd all laugh.

This week I am saying it and honestly, not so funny when you're the one feeling compelled to say it.

After finally fighting off my plague, I am now struck with my other common ailment, the stomach monster called "Gastritis" (and it is not as that phrase implies, just FYI) and I am now only allowing myself to eat white bread and bananas in hopes of preventing my entire midsection from cramping up every time I eat anything.

That was yesterday.

Then today happened. Stupid, stupid today.

My boss told me today that I am being too much of a victim. Maybe that is true and maybe it's not, but it was sort of like a slap in the face to hear that. Let me explain why . . .

My 90 day review for my new position as Marketing Specialist is due this week. I brought this up last week to make sure everyone knew I was expecting it this week. And now, somehow, it's not happening because there is a "process" and in the "real business world" it doesn't happen right when us measly employees expect it.

In my mind I'm thinking "wow is it really to much to ask that after two years in this company, busting my ass and doing humiliating tasks, after I FINALLY get promoted, that I get a raise the day I was promised I'd get a raise? Is that really too much to ask?" More specifically I thought (and later actually said) "I brought this up last week to facilitate having the review THIS week so I could get my raise THIS week."

I was told I was being completely unreasonable and I could STOP being unreasonable and be patient or I could quit. Except his words were "You can stop being unreasonable and be patient or you can walk."

Right now my walking shoes are sounding pretty dang good.

Thank the heavens this week is OVER!

I'm not sure when I've been so excited for the weekend to roll around. EVER. In my entire. life.

Some of you know I have been sick this week . . . but it wasn't really a normal, Kate sickness. It was bad. I mean BAD. I missed three days of work this week. THREE. I haven't missed three days of work due to illness since . . . well, ever. You will all remember me feeling like crap last weekend in Pennsylvania. Well I put my sick butt on a plane. And five out of five health care professionals say that getting on a plane with a slight cold will cause you to immediately go from "sniffles" to "full blown plague with 90% chance of death." Oh and the people sitting within 100 feet of you will immediately be infected with the same plague. So basically, I think I just started the first outbreak of the black plague since the dark ages. My apologies to everyone on my oversold flight, everyone at JFK airport, everyone at Sky Harbor airport and anyone who got anywhere near to THOSE people.

ANYWAY, I had/have bronchitis. Usually this is identified immediately in me with a horrific, phlegmy hacking cough. Apparently in THIS version of bronchitis, that is not the case. The cough doesn't show up until DAY FIVE of this particular version of the death disease. On Wednesday I finally dragged my butt off the couch to take a shower and FORCE myself to go to work ... and immediately started hacking up a lung. Maybe it was the standing up? That must be it. I hadn't stood up for a significant amount of time since the dreaded "show" in New York. So that was when I decided to consult our lovely local overworked urgent care facility. Much to my surprise when I showed up I was one of two people in the lobby, so my prayers were answered and I knew I would be seen soon.

**Random side note: At this particular urgent care facility, they ask you to check yourself in by computer. Now this would be an extremely wonderful, effective way to get people checked in, if we lived in a perfect world. But here's my point: The people who go to urgent care typically have one or more of the following symptoms: Amputated digit, plague, flu, cold, BRONCHITIS, blood, guts . . . you know URGENT CARE TYPE OF THINGS. I'm thinking that most people will infect the computer with their particular slew of germs, bleed all over the thing or be TOO SICK TO TYPE IN WHAT THEY ARE SICK WITH. Ok, sidenote over.**

Back to me and my experience. I got in pretty fast. I was asked by the nurse what my symptoms were. While describing them I'm thinking "what the crap did I fill out all that crap on the computer for if you idiots aren't going to READ IT." But explain I did. "Sick for five days now, lots of snot, coughing started this morning." She sends me in for a chest X-ray. Um, people, I've had bronchitis every year since I was about 5 and I have NEVER had an X-ray. I'm thinking this is going to cost me . . . bastards. Anyway, finally the doctor comes in and he is actually great, effective, nice, well groomed and carrying this sweet notepad computer where he enters my symptoms AGAIN but this time with a stylus! Then he says "your prescriptions will be ready at the front. You have acute bronchitis. Hope you feel better." Sweet! A virtual prescription! (see how bored I was all week? Daytime TV really sucks.) Anyway, I'm on meds now. Being drugged up is SO GREAT!

Thursday I dragged my still sick butt back to work. Remember now, this was the week after a big trade show. I'm pretty sure the world fell apart while I was gone. So I groggily tried to wade my way through that day. I'm not exactly sure what happened but I was there from eight to five.

Friday was a BAD day. I mean BAD. I was starting to feel better for real but my boss and I decided to not like each other for the day. I had a real argument with my boss for the first time ever. And I don't mean THIS boss. I mean first argument with ANY boss. He, "Mr Communication" claimed I misunderstood what he said to me, but I'm pretty sure that when he said "You are making this problem a B priority and it's not a B priority, Kate!" that he meant to say "You are making this problem a B priority and it's not a B priority, Kate!" I've never actually been accused of making a well known issue a "B" priority. Especially when I'd spent the majority of the day trying to fix it . . . oh and an hour with a very busy developer the day before. But whatever right? Hahah, the Kate most of you know would have just shrugged it off. Apparently plague Kate is a monster. Plague Kate said "Don't say I'm making this a B priority" . . .and then sort of went off from there. I got splotchy. Those of you who know me know that when I get splotchy, it is NOT good. I look like a teenager with like fifty hickeys. It's not pretty and there's NO way to hide it.

Anyway, I walked out mad, then he called me back in and we "worked it out" (as you can tell I'm still not quiiiiite over it though) and I came home . . . sort of a mess, sort of in tears. Apparently Plague Kate is super emotional as well.

Ok this post is getting a lot long . . . I'll sum up fast (and sorry there are no pictures. I, er, hate the camera lately. Or something.)

We went and saw "The Prestige" on Friday night. It's very cool and very entertaining. And have I mentioned my love of Christian Bale? Yeah, I pretty much have been in love with him since my first glance of him in Newsies in 7th grade. Anyway, the movie has lots of cool magic stuff, lots of pretty boys for the gals to look at, lots of Scarlette Johansen's cleavage for the boys to look at, and a cool storyline and some really cool twists and turns. Just when you think you've got it figured out they HIT ya. It's great. And did I mention Christian Bale . . . with his ENGLISH ACCENT? Yeah. Drool.



In his next movie he plays a German soldier captured in Vietnam. Oh and he's apparently manorexic looking. Caaaan't wait!

Quote of the Year

I am pretty sure this is my favorite quote of all time:

"Prince might be the only human who's actually made of butterscotch and grease"
-- John Heder, on explaining his choice of a Prince song on his iTunes celebrity playlist

And then New York kicked her butt . . .

Oh my gosh i feel like crap.

C
R
A
P

I think I wore myself out this week!

I was on "trade show duty" Wedesday and Thursday all day. And I mean ALL DAY. I was up at 6:30 EST (which is 3:30 Arizona time. OUI) and I was standing, in our booth, from 7:30 AM until about 6:00 PM both days. My feet were KILLING me . . . to the point that I called my sister on the verge of tears and begged her to send me a pair of Danskos so I could handle the next day of standing all day.

The Danskos came and they helped a bit, but I think my entire blood supply was pooled in my feet. They were swolen to twice their normal size and popping out of the top of the shoes.

On the bright side I went and saw the musical "The Drowsy Chaperone" and loved it. I recommend it to everyone.

Friday I walked all over New York. I walked up and down Fifth Avenue a few times, walked through Central Park, walked everywhere. My fat body is not used to that i tell you what!

I had woken up feeling sort of sick so i went to the pharmacy and got some Airborne and cough drops, hoping they would help, but I dont think they did.

Friday evening I took a train from NYC to my parents house in Lancaster, PA, and I have pretty much done nothing but sleep since I got here. I'm really sick AGAIN. I have had the chills and the shakes and a sore throat and all kinds of lame crap. I was supposed to go shopping today but instead I slept. And slept. Then ate, then slept.

Tomorrow morning I go back to New York to fly home from JFK. The train drops me off at 12:30 and my flight isn't until 6:00 PM but I think I may just go straight to the airport and sleep some more. If I walk anymore I think I might open a vein.

I still love New York but I'm really ready to go home and see my husband and sleep in my own bed.

Of course going home means going back to Boot Camp too, but honestly, it might be better than the swolen feet New York caused me this week.

**Pardon my errors within this post. I'm using a Mac and I'm struggling to type and too tired to care!

I "Heart" New York

Someday I'll learn HTML and be able to add a picture of a heart or something in my titles . . .

ANYWAY

I am in New York and oh how I love it here. I love the tall hallways of buildings, the city smells, the knockoff purses on the corners, the amazing shopping, the sort feet from walking everywhere . . . everything.

I am here for my first real business trip. I feel so fancy and so . .. well, old. Since when do I have a real job and a real life? Holy crap!!

Anyway, here I sit in my hotel room, not sleepy because it's only 8:30 at home but 11:30 here and I have to get up at 6:00 here which is three-freaking-a-freaking-m at home . . . and I want to sleep but I can't. I'm staying at the Hilton New York, right in the heart of the city - near Times Square, near 5th Avenue, near Central Park . . . it's newly renovated and really quite nice, yet all I can think about is the fact that in a small way, i am contributing to stupid Paris Hilton's trust fund. And that pretty much pisses me off.

But ANYWAY, I love New York. And I should stop saying that . . . I am really excited because on Friday morning, after the rest of my company goes home, I am going to an endowment session at the Manhatten Temple! I have wanted to go since it's announcement but this is the first time I've been to New York since I've been endowed.

I will also, as is fitting to my dramatic self, try to find a show to go to. I'm thinking Drowsy Chaperone or Jersey Boys, if I can get decently priced tickets. Although Donny Osmond IS playing Gaston in Beauty and the Beast! It's the role he was BORN to play, no?

I'll try to keep you all posted, though in the next two days my only entries might look something like "Stood on my feet for twelve hours straight today, boss won't let me sit down. Shoe size has gone from water ski size to full billionaire yacht size. Stay tuned for tomorrow when they will be the size of Mount Everest."

Ow.

How fair is Photoshop/Airbrushing REALLY?

I was looking at some Blogs the other day by some really great photographers and scrapbookers. The pictures were truly beautiful. The colors were bright, the smiles were white, the eyes were clear and sparkling . . .

Then I started to think about it. They are all just photoshop whores. (and I say that with the utmost respect . . . if you can call someone a whore and mean it respectfully)

If I knew what they know about photoshop and airbrushing and making eyes look bluer and greener and taking off fat rolls and other such things, I'd look hot all the time, and so would everyone I ever took a picture of!

I'm filing a complaint with . . . someone.

Either permanently Photoshop ME as a person, or stop doing it to pictures. I want to know what people REALLY look like.

Or maybe I should just learn Photoshop . . .

Quote of the Week

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being -- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
-Erma Bombeck-

I correct that to: My second favorite household chore is . . . wait, I don't have one.